Ditching the Busy: 5 Simple Steps to Find Calm in the Chaos
Oh my holy moly! Does anyone else feel like November and December come in like a whirlwind, bringing all the holiday craziness with it?
For me, these months have already been packed—and not just with Christmas prep. We’ve had four family birthdays to celebrate (one of them a surprise 50th for my hunk-o-hunk-o-burnin-love AKA Andrew), plus Thanksgiving hosting, gift shopping (at some point), and keeping up with normal life tasks like homeschooling, work, laundry (why is it never-ending?!) and all the day-to-day things. It’s a lot. And if you’re feeling the same way, welcome to the club.
Here’s the thing—I realized I needed to figure out how to manage this season without feeling like I’m always behind on or missing something. So today, I’m sharing five steps that have helped me ditch the busy and find a way to get what needs to be done- done. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, these might just work for you too.
Step #1: Change Your Mindset
When life feels like you're going down the never-ending to-do list pit of despair, the first step is to pause. I totally overslept the other day. Ooops. I had too many things to do, no time to do them, and I was on the verge of a full meltdown.
Then I stopped, took a few deep breaths, and reminded myself: Getting my freak out on was not the way. Breathing helps regulate your mind and body, giving you space to think clearly. It's amazing what can happen when you oxygenate that brain and let it think. Once I calmed down, I could see the day for what it was—a challenge, yes, but also something I could plan my way through.
Step #2: Keep the Important Things Important
Hard truth? I might just be guilty of letting time-wasters own the day. I’ve caught myself vacuuming the whole house or scrolling through emails just to avoid what really needs to get done.
But when I focus on what’s actually important, it’s amazing how much time I find. I’m also a big fan of tools like alarms and focus modes on my phone. These little systems help me stay on track, so I’m doing the right things at the right time—without distractions. Let's be real, with only the kids distracting me, not me adding to it.
Step #3: Let Go of Perfection
Repeat after me: Perfection is overrated.
The day I had to prepare for Andrew’s surprise birthday party, I didn’t have time to make everything the way I envisioned it.
I wanted to get actual posters made up for him to plaster all over the house. I didn't realize it wasn't just a trip to the copy center, but a special order that required 4-5 business days that I did not have. Joy.
Luckily, as I called all the copy places in any sort of driving radius, one of them said they could do 12"x18" copies for waaaaay cheaper than the posters would have been. Oh yeah, and they could do it on the spot! Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner! I ended up printing smaller ones at a fraction of the cost. And guess what? They worked just fine.
The same goes for laundry, meals, or attempting to keep the house clean. If it’s not perfect, it’s okay. Your kids will survive on PB&J for a day or 5. Your floors don’t need to sparkle like a magazine cover. Done is better than perfect, and letting go of that pressure is so freeing.
Step #4: Ask for Help
I know, I know. Asking for help feels hard, especially when we’re used to doing everything ourselves. But here’s the thing: we’re not meant to do it all alone.
When I was prepping for Andrew’s party, his plans unexpectedly changed, and I couldn’t pull everything off solo. No joke. The day before his party was supposed to be a day to myself as he had plans with a friend. Plans that fell through and suddenly, it was a family day!
I couldn't do all that food shopping with him hanging by my side... so I called up some friends to help with food and setup. It made all the difference, and the party was a success—all because I let people step in. There was a part of me that grit my teeth so hard inside to make those calls.
But really, people want to help when you’re in genuine need. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is let them. I know I love it when I can help save the day for one of my besties!
Step #5: Be Okay with Saying No
This one’s tough. We’re so used to saying yes to everyone and everything, whether it’s for our kids, our friends, or other commitments. But when we say yes to too much, we end up stretched too thin to give anything our best.
Sometimes, saying no is the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and for others. For example, our church worship team opened for up to new people to join. OH for the love of microphones, I really want to do it (this is not to say that they would hear me and be on board with that...). However, I've got a lot of things that are needing my eyes and focus for the next few months, so I had to realize it just wasn’t the right season for it. Recognizing that allowed me to focus on what truly matters right now.
Wrapping It Up
Here’s the truth, Mama: Busy isn’t always bad. Sometimes, being busy means you’re in a great flow. But overwhelmed? That’s where we need to draw the line.
Take a moment to step back and ask yourself: Am I busy in a way that feels good and productive? Or am I overwhelmed and barely keeping up? If it’s the latter, try these steps. Even one small tweak can make a huge difference.
You don’t have to be Wonder Woman. You don’t have to do it all. And you definitely don’t have to do it perfectly. What you can do is focus on what matters most, take a breath, and let go of the rest.
Let’s ditch the busy together, one step at a time. 💕
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