"I miss being able to work and be someone that wasn't just mom or wife."
Hey, beautiful mama, it's Mitch here. I am so excited about today's episode because it is the first time I am doing my Come As You Are series, which is basically me interviewing some of my really good friends. And it'll be actually just when I meet people that are just a really cool mom, I'm probably gonna invite her on to be on this series.
Because sometimes it's great when you just hear your story in somebody else's average day, right? And know that you're not the only one going through this. So for my first time out with this, I have my good friend Segal Bunn.
She's my next door neighbor. We've known each other for a couple of years, and I just love her. And I love it because she just transitioned from being a stay at home mom to back to work.
And I know that that's the story for a lot of people out there. So we're gonna cover what it was like for her to make that transition, what it was like to be out searching for a job and to get back into the workforce, and then what it means at home and all the changes that happen. And then of course, you know, we're gonna have some fun.
Why? Well, because she's a good friend. And second of all, because we like to have fun.
And I have to give her a shout out because you're gonna notice while you're watching this episode, you're gonna see my Christmas tree and some Christmas decorations in the background because today it's Christmas Eve. And she has a really big busy schedule and I've got a lot going on. So between the two of us, when I got together with her and I said, hey, I really wanna interview you, we looked at our calendars and this happened to be the one hour that we had in order to get together.
And she was just so gracious as she said, yep, I'll be over, let's do it. So I know it's not Christmas Eve for you, so don't mind the Christmas tree in the background because today it's Christmas Eve. And she has a really big busy schedule and I've got a lot going on. So between the two of us, when I got together with her and I said, hey, I really wanna interview you, we looked at our calendars and this happened to be the one hour that we had in order to get together.
And she was just so gracious as she said, yep, I'll be over, let's do it. So I know it's not Christmas Eve for you, so don't mind the Christmas tree in the background, but I hope you kick back. I hope you hear some of your story in there.
You get some good chuckles and let's get started.
All right, we're here. First of all, thank you for doing this.
I'm so excited because I get to ask all the questions I've been dying to know. Oh dear, I'm just kidding.
It won't be bad, I promise.
So as promised, here is my friend Segal. She's my next door neighbor, so that's why I said just come on over instead of us being on two side-by-side screens. I thought it'd be more fun if we just kick it together.
It's like we do. Yeah, it's nice. You had a trudge through mud, though.
I did, I did, swamp.
Part of the hazards of living out in the country.
Yes, and the rain.
And the rain.
It's like a swamp out there.
I know. All right, so let's start, so everyone can get to know you. Your name is Segal, and how long have you been married?
17 years.
Wow, okay.
You've got some time then.
Yeah, it'll be 18 in May.
Nice. What day?
The 20th. Sorry, no, the 14th. I said that wrong.
The 20th is my husband's birthday.
Oh, okay, well, I mean, of course you're knowing the days.
Yeah, I'm in the ranch.
You've got a lot to remember, so. How'd you guys meet?
Frat house.
Really?
Frat house party at college.
Okay, all right.
It's a bit, I mean, he was shy.
Was he?
Yeah, he had to drink to talk to him.
Well, I mean, I can see it, you know, he's probably had to fight through all the dudes.
Oh, yes, back then.
So, okay, you guys got married, and obviously you're mom, and you have kids. How many kids do you guys have?
We have two kids. We have a 10 year old and a 13 year old.
10 year old and 13 year old. And is that something, like, did you guys decide, we're just doing two? Was it just kind of like, okay, after two, you were done?
We decided that on our honeymoon, too.
Really?
We picked out their names on our honeymoon.
Really? You stuck with it, too?
Wow. And then it just happened we had a boy and a girl. Oh, that worked out well.
20 year olds deciding on the fate of their kids' names.
So you're a planner is what you're saying.
Very much a planner.
Yes, or in your paper calendar still. I know.
Planner.
I love it though, but it works for you. So what did you do? What was life like before kids?
Like, where did you work? What did you do?
How was life?
We're very much homebodies. So kids were just easy. Like an easy transition.
We didn't go out and do a whole bunch. We didn't go anywhere. And we didn't have a lot of money, so we didn't go anywhere.
We were poor. I worked as a CNA, so a nursing aide, at 18 before we got married. And then after that, once we got married, I worked at a doctor's office as a nurse's aide.
So I was helping her in patients and stuff like that at the doctor's office, learning about all that cool stuff. So really we worked and we just hung out out. That's all we did.
But it's true. I mean, it's like when you don't have a lot of money too.
Well, I mean, it was like, we grew up poor and we started off poor, and so we had to build our little life. And we had two friends that moved close to us because we moved four hours away from family.
Oh, wow.
So when we moved for my husband's job, when we moved four hours away from family, two friends ended up coming up like the next year. And so we basically hung out with them.
Oh, that's cool.
And played games.
Favorite game?
At the time, it was Rock Band.
Oh, yes. I loved Rock Band.
We would grill and we would play Rock Band and we would drink.
I remember the first time that Rock Band came out, I had a friend call me over. He's like, you gotta come see this. I'm like, is this another one of your video games?
I don't know.
And I walked in and I'm like, that looks stupid.
And then he's like, just try it, just try it.
We all had our places.
One would play the drums, one would do the singing, one would do the guitar.
I would try the drums, but I would sing sometimes. I'm not a good singer, but I'm not good with the drums either.
So it all worked out in the end.
Yeah, I mean, we were drinking, so it didn't matter.
Yeah, there you go. Perfect, I love it. And then how long did you guys wait before you had kids?
We waited four years? No, three years.
Three years, okay.
Three years, all right.
And then you had?
And then we had Chase, he's 13. And then we waited three years after him and had Rayleigh.
Okay, all right.
So you guys wanted the separation that was planned?
Yes, yes.
Do the question.
They were planned, but they were planned, but they're both in August, so they weren't planned very well.
They're right, well, I mean.
They're like literally a week apart.
So you had that nice summer pregnancy.
Oh, yes. And I was in the hospital on my birthday.
Oh, right, yes, you're in August, too, yeah. So was that here in Texas?
No, Northwest Arkansas.
Northwest Arkansas is also nice and hot and humid.
Oh, very, very humid.
Yes, the home of Walmart.
That's right, good times.
Yes.
Walmart, it's the only place we have to go shopping here.
True.
Unless you really wanna commute somewhere.
I know, right?
Unless you're desperate for Target.
So when did you decide to become a stay-at-home mom? Was that with Chase or was that after you had Rayleigh?
That was actually with Rayleigh, which that didn't come about as really a choice, I guess. I mean, I guess it was kind of a choice. The doctor that I worked for that was supposed to deliver her ended up not paying me multiple times.
It wasn't just me. It was like all of the staff. So it wasn't just me, but.
And so I ended up saying, you know, if you can't pay me, then I won't come back to work until you pay me.
And so then I just didn't go back.
So I ended up without a doctor, without an OB doctor and without a job at like 36 weeks pregnant.
Oh my gosh.
So that was fun. I had to go find another doctor, and then I stayed home.
Oh wow.
Until after I had her, and then I think it was like six months after her, I finally went back to work. So I've kind of been off and on stay-at-home moms since then. So 2013.
Because I know when we met, and that was three, two years ago?
Two and a half years ago?
Because you weren't working then. And how long had it been since you had been working at that point?
Probably two years. Because I stopped in 2019, so before the COVID pandemic hit. So I left out, like I stopped right before.
And was that just kind of a work situation?
Or more of a- That was more of a, I'm tired of working and the stress, and burnout on nursing, I think, is more of what it was. So, and then it was like, oh, I'll just stay home.
We can do it. And so, four years later, I'm back at work, but.
And then what made you decide to go back to work now?
The cost of living is really high.
It's crazy, right? Yes.
And now that I have a 13-year-old and a 10-year-old, it's like, they're not little anymore. They don't need a lot of supervision. Different supervision, I guess.
And feeding them is expensive. And their activities and their wants and goodness gracious.
I know, and they're going to be driving soon.
And the cost of insurance and the car.
So that was like, we've planned that out so that way we can help them in three years when he starts driving.
Because it's going to be pricey.
So that's really the go back. That and I missed working. I've stayed home for four years.
I miss being able to work and be someone that wasn't just mom or wife.
Be my own self.
Give my dream back. My dream of always being a nurse. That was my dream from the beginning.
And so you're back in the nursing field, right?
I am.
I am in a totally different section of nursing. Nothing I've ever done before, so I've had to learn pretty much everything again. So that's been hard.
So being that you were, you said it's been four years since you had been nursing, was it hard to get back into the nursing field? Like, is that something when you're trying to go back? Because I know there's a lot of moms that are trying to go back to work right now, and it's been this big gap of time since they've worked, and maybe some of them are going back to the same field, maybe some of them are reinventing themselves.
And there's always that fear of, oh my gosh, they're going to say, what have you been doing for this past however many times? Are you equipped? Did you feel like you had that challenge?
Was it hard?
That was a challenge. Well, first of all, I couldn't find a job. It took me a little bit to find a job, which is really not normal for nursing.
But I ended up finally finding a job. There was actually two job offers at the same time, but it was, I haven't worked for four years, so they're probably looking at me like, you haven't worked for four years, what have you been doing? Do you even know how to do time management as a nurse anymore?
All that stuff that goes with being a nurse. And so that was an adjustment, figuring that out. So, I mean, I had to learn a lot of new things because I went from working at clinics to now I'm back in long-term care.
So it's like a totally different ball game.
Yeah, and do you feel like, did people kind of question you when you got there?
Oh yeah, they were all kind of looking at me like, oh, you've been home for four years, okay. Really? That must be nice, you know?
There's always that kind. And I guess maybe any workplace, but definitely in the nursing world, I think that's kind of a thing, where it's like, oh, you got to stay home.
I never got to do that.
Plus I got to miss the pandemic.
That's right.
You don't really have your true stripes.
They're like, no, you're really a nurse, because you weren't here during the pandemic when we had a whole hall shut down and taped up.
And I make it so hard, because I mean, my mom was a nurse as well, and you know her. She was kind of the one that carried our family a lot of the time. So she didn't have the option to stay at home.
She would have loved to have. And it's so funny, because we as women were either each other's best cheerleaders, or we could get so snippy with each other, right?
It can be really bad. Yeah, it can be really bad. Nurses can be really bad about that.
And there's always the old saying of like, nurses eat their young.
Really?
Oh, I never heard that.
Oh, yeah, that's a thing.
They do.
Oh.
Not every, not all nurses, but a lot of nurses just instead of backing you and supporting you in doing that, they can't do that. So it's kind of sad as a profession because the nursing world is totally different now, especially after COVID.
Yeah.
And I didn't know that going back into it. I mean, I knew it and I'd heard it, but I realized it like firsthand now that I'm back in. I'm like, it is like a totally different world out there now.
Nursing is sad.
So how's the transition been at home between having had you home all the time and you're writing, I mean, I know you were always picking up the kids, dropping off the kids, doing all the stuff, and you're obviously taking care of home. And now?
Very involved. I pretty much did everything, took over all of that, and my husband worked. And now it's more, he's having to step up and take care of.
He does the school pick up. Like I drop him off, he picks him up. Activities, taking him to football, onto course lessons and stuff like that.
He's having to help do that. And so it's been an adjustment for everybody. Mom not being there 24-7 and keeping it all in my head, what needs to go on.
So that's been adjustment for us all.
Well, especially because it wasn't just like a part-time job or a regular 40 hours a week. You're working some serious overtime hours too.
Oh yeah, some serious overtime hours. Like 50 hours usually a week, at least 45 at the least.
At the least, yeah.
So it's a very, and I get called on the weekend, so they expect you to be there.
Oh wow, okay.
And ready all the time.
Oh wow, so you're kind of on call 24 hours.
Sort of. I got called this weekend yesterday morning, like ate something.
Yeah, now how did the kids handle not having you there all the time?
They've actually done pretty well.
And I mean, my son is used to me working, because I worked when he was little and he went to daycare and all that. So he's more used to it. My daughter is like, she's had a little bit of a struggle just because she's more used to me being there.
And she never had to go to daycare, she never had to do any of that. And so she's had a little bit of an adjustment, but they're doing okay, and they're really stepping up and helping out.
Oh, that's cool.
I mean, we had a big family powwow before I started, like, hey, mom needs to go back to work. I wanna go back to work, and y'all are gonna have to help out. And you're gonna be given lists, and you're gonna have chores, and you're gonna have to help.
And so, they mostly did it without complaining.
That's good.
I mean, your kids are pretty good. I always see them helping out and doing stuff anyway.
Yeah, we're pretty strict and pretty mean with them.
Must be why they're so well-behaved.
Because when I see them. They can be.
I mean, I put them to work too. Best poop scooper around.
He can be good when he wants to meet a 10-year-old, he can.
That's funny.
He needs to make that a business.
So if you had it all your way, what would life look like? Would you work this much? Would it be more stay at home?
I mean, to me, it sounds like work is definitely something that you want in your life, but what would it look like?
I think it would definitely be more of a part-time thing. It's hard because I like to work, and I like to use my mind and that nursing knowledge that I have and be my own person, but at the same time, I feel like I'm missing a lot with the kids. Now dad knows more about them than I do, and that makes me really sad.
Oh, I didn't think about that.
Yeah, I mean, the little cliques in middle school and girls, and I don't know all that, and I miss some of the football games, and so that's hard. That's been an adjustment, and I think I would rather more part-time. I definitely don't like it where it's so demanding, and my job is very, very demanding, so I think maybe it just needs to be like a little half.
I need part-time work, and then part-time mom, that'd be great.
Yeah, or you still get in there.
Well, and I can keep ahold of the house, and keep things maintained, and they don't get out of control.
Right?
Which they do. Because it's not that Nick is a stay-at-home dad, it's that he works from home.
He does, he does work from home.
So he can go and get the other things, but he's there working in his office, so yeah, it's not like you guys flip-flopped.
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
No, he's still working his normal job, and he's a manager, and so he's pretty stressed, too. So it's like, it's been, it's been fun, and the house is definitely, the cleaning has decreased.
Right?
The level, I have let things go.
You gotta have to.
We've had many come to Jesus' meetings, and I need to let it go.
She's been to my house, she knows how I am, and it's been, that's been hard. I've had to like, okay, breathe and let it go.
It'll be fine.
We have clean clothes, you know?
Yeah, I don't smell. We look okay in public.
The toilet is semi-clean.
Give me 24 hours notice before you come over.
Yeah, there may be mud all in the floor right now, but it did just rain.
So right, yeah, I know, with the dogs that we have, oh my gosh. Okay, so we'll go back into kind of the mom part of, what was the hardest part of becoming a mom for you?
Oh, the adjustment of having to take care of another human. I mean, as a nurse, I should be able to do that like easy, but that first baby was a culture shock.
People try to prepare you, but you can't ever prepare for that. There's no way. I mean, you can read all the books, but there's no preparation for that.
The no sleep and the constant worrying about their bowels, and their breathing in them.
Their weird noises that they make.
If they're breathing, the hypervigilant, never getting any sleep, good rest, kind of, that was so stressful. The second baby was totally different, but the first baby was a hard adjustment.
Yeah, I always say, logically, I knew it was gonna be a 24-hour, seven-day week job. This is it, but emotionally, it was like a slap in the face.
It was like, what the?
What happened here?
You know, you're just not ready.
It's not, and then you throw breastfeeding into that.
Forget it. I think there was a time where, too, I may have blocked myself in the closet and cried.
Oh, yes, for sure.
We've, that was, the second child was much easier because you know, right? You're a little bit more prepared, but man, that first one, yeah.
Even waiting until I was, I think, I mean, I was 24 and I was a bit young, but that was hard.
Yeah.
That's why I have two, I'm good.
Yep, yeah.
Two's enough.
Yep, I had mine older, so two, I was like, no, that's it, we're done. I don't know, I kind of think, like, if I was younger, maybe, but I don't know.
They take a lot of energy.
They do.
Even at 13 and 10, you still have to have the energy to keep up with them.
Right.
Now it's, can I go to my friend's house?
Can you take me here?
Can you do, can you do, do, do, do, do?
Are you at the taxi service, right?
Yes, now I am, even more so.
Now you're looking forward to 16, aren't you?
Oh, for sure, yes, because he can drive himself, and it won't be, I'm like, why can't you be friends with the people on the street?
Just, like, you know, there's, where you can walk there.
Yeah, I mean, it's on my own walk, but.
That's a downside to being in a country, when they get older.
It's like, ah, you got to cross the road with the big trucks.
So what was the best part of becoming a mom that maybe you didn't expect?
Oh, just the amount of love you have for a kid. Like, you don't realize how much you're gonna love that thing that you made, like, you made it. Like, I still, you know, I still, I don't know if you do that, but I still am like, I made you, like, I did that all by myself.
Basically, you know, my body did that.
And just knowing that you can keep that thing alive. Yeah, and when they're well-behaved, and then people say, oh, they're well-behaved, it's like, okay, you're doing something right.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm making my good contribution to the world.
Yeah, that is cool. Awesome, I love that.
What is the most stressful part of your day, and how do you deal with it?
Oh, stressful part of the day, mornings, getting everybody out the door. Because my husband, since he takes care of the afternoon pick up, he stays in bed and I get the kids up.
Okay, so you drive them to school.
I drive them to school, yeah. We get up, I get up like 5.40, get them up, get them dressed and fed, and it's just making sure that they're, you know, we're on time and don't make us all late, because if you make you late, you're making me late, you know, so they've had that adjustment too, of making sure that they're keeping on time and like, mama's got to get to work, okay? We got traffic a little bit here.
I'm going to get behind the tractor and then I'm going to be late to work, so let's hurry up. So mornings is the stressful thing, making sure that they eat a good healthy breakfast, you know, most of the time, at least a well-rounded breakfast, and get out the door.
Now are there, I mean, 10 and 13, they pretty much take care of their own breakfast, I would imagine at this point, or are you still?
The 13 year old is fine.
The 10 year old, no.
Yeah, that's second child.
Squirrel, you know, she just, you know.
I mean, I got her an advent calendar, and so I come out the other day, I was running a little bit late, like I spent a little bit more time doing my hair or something, you know, and I was just kind of chilling, getting ready, and I look at my clock, I was like, oh my gosh, I gotta leave in 10 minutes, and I go out there, and she's opening up her advent calendar, and pulling out her toy, and I was like, have you eaten breakfast? No, it takes her a good 20 minutes to eat. I'm like, all right, we're gonna have to throw some stuff in a bowl, and you're gonna eat it on the way to school, because we gotta go.
But you know, the first child, he's on it, and he's like yelling at her, like, you're gonna make me late, you know. And if he's late, he has athletics in the morning, so if he's late, he gets punished.
He has to do like the push-ups, or run around and throw the air.
So that's a lot of our morning.
How often do you get to spend alone time with Nick? And how has that changed throughout the years, too?
Not enough. Of course, there's never enough time.
Now that they're older, though, we're able to like leave them at the house, at least for like an hour or two hours. The 13-year-old's fine. 10-year-old, you gotta worry about her.
But for the most part, we can leave them and we'll go out maybe just in the town to eat dinner. But it's not enough time, and it doesn't happen. But maybe every other couple months.
And if we do have time, we're just too tired.
Sometimes we call bedtime date night.
If I can shut the door and not be bothered by humans or animals. Because we have the little puppy, so she's also keeping us busy.
See, I thought she was gonna be the most stressful part of your day.
He has to do like the push-ups, or run around and throw the air.
So that's a lot of our morning.
How often do you get to spend alone time with Nick? And how has that changed throughout the years, too?
Not enough. Of course, there's never enough time.
Now that they're older, though, we're able to like leave them at the house, at least for like an hour or two hours. The 13-year-old's fine. 10-year-old, you gotta worry about her.
But for the most part, we can leave them and we'll go out maybe just in the town to eat dinner. But it's not enough time, and it doesn't happen. But maybe every other couple months.
And if we do have time, we're just too tired.
Sometimes we call bedtime date night.
If I can shut the door and not be bothered by humans or animals. Because we have the little puppy, so she's also keeping us busy.
See, I thought she was gonna be the most stressful part of your day.
Well, see, in the morning, I don't even get her out of her crate. I just leave her in there and let her dad takes care of that one. I only have big dogs in the morning.
I'm like, I'm not dealing with the basset hound in the morning.
Can you say about basset hounds?
Oh, don't. Don't do that. She's fixed to go to training now, so I'm hoping that helps.
She is a barker.
That hound bark, she's obnoxious.
But she's cute.
She's very cute. But yeah, she's going to training in a couple of days, and I'm so excited that now we can afford to do that, because I work.
I know, it's expensive.
I know, so I'm like, well, we can afford it, I work. We have two incomes instead of just one, so I can send her to a boarding training. She could be gone for a couple of weeks, and everybody on the street will be so much happier.
Thank you.
Oh my gosh, so how much time would you say you spend on your kids' activities, like driving them to school, driving them to practice, going to games, you know, all the different things?
Well, on planning them, like my daughter does horse lessons, I have to book all those in advance. I mean, it's gotta be a good, when Chase is doing football or some kind of sport, it's a good four to five hours a week.
Oh wow.
Probably.
And are you, so at this point in time with Chase, I would imagine you're just more driving because you don't have to actually sit and stay through the practice.
No, well, and he does, since his is with the school, his is all, his practice is before in the morning. Which they're out of football season now, but before it was, I mean, I had to get up and take him early.
And so then that was a whole different morning struggle.
But now that he's not doing football practice, it's a lot nicer because we only had one game a week. I know as he gets older, that will probably change or I think next year, they do it after school, so then that'll change the whole flow of everything.
Have they ever gotten to the point where they're asking you something and you're just like, I am not gonna drive you to the house and answer this now?
Yes, yeah.
Every weekend, pretty much, it's, can I go to this friend's house? Or can I go stay the night here? Or can I, and I'm like, no, you can't.
I don't wanna do that.
One, I don't wanna pack or make double check, like the 13-year-old will pack his stuff, but the 10-year-old, I have to pack her stuff. I'm like, I don't even wanna do that.
I'm tired. Mom is done.
Mom is done.
We had a whole full week. Let's just chill. Get ready for the next week.
There you go. So that's actually a neat question. I hadn't thought about this until I was talking to another friend.
And so my girls are five and six now, and it's like, okay, when do you let them have their first sleepover? Like have they ever slept over at someone else's house? How old were they?
They sleep over, they slept over at friends that are basically family that we've known for years. They've done that when they were littler. But my son just had his first official sleepover with someone we don't know at 13.
And that's only because I know he has a cell phone and he can contact me if he needs to. Because he's, I mean, I was getting texts at 1 a.m. saying I'm not comfortable, you know, like.
Oh, wow.
So, it's just the first sleepover, so it was more nerves than anything bad going on. But yeah, it's definitely, oh, that's scary, especially with girls.
It's even more scary.
Yeah, and it's something I hadn't even thought of until I had a friend mention that. And she's like, oh, no, no, no, my kids will never have a sleepover until this age. And I was like, oh, I hadn't really considered that because when I grew up, we just, we were all over the place.
I had latchkey kids, you know, it's like, oh, I'm over at so-and-so's house. Even if it's dark, my mom would whistle. And so, and we haven't really gotten to the point where anyone's sleeping over yet, but all of a sudden I thought, oh yeah, that's something I really need to, when they ask, so I was just curious, you know.
Yeah, we made it a rule for Chase, when you have a phone. Of course, he's a lot more mature than the second one is. So we'll see how that goes with her.
But yeah, definitely, 13 was even harder. Letting him do that at 13. Yeah, I was still not ready.
And then he just made me think of, so do they have an age where they can start dating?
He's been allowed to date now at 13.
There's been a lot of things at 13, and we probably should space that out a little bit more.
Now that I'm like, why did I wait till 13?
That's not like a magic age.
Because then my daughter's gonna come up and be like, I can do everything at 13. You're gonna be like, no, not really, that's a different, that's different.
And now dating for him, is that like, he goes out on a date, or is it more just like they're at school?
They're boyfriend and girlfriend at school. But I think now that he's been given the permission, it hasn't happened.
Oh, okay.
So, he's more of the one that will, he will abide by the rules, whereas the 10 year old, she'll just do whatever she wants, when it comes time.
And you'll find out about it later.
Yeah, that's her. That's that first, second child thing. But he's not really done anything with that.
We gave him the permission, and it's okay.
So would you consider yourself a strict parent?
Yes. Yeah. Why?
Very strict. Very strict, because I expect my kids to be a certain way. I don't, they always get on to me because I don't like a lot of loud.
And that's probably, I may be a little autistic.
I don't know. I don't like it when it's really, really loud. And we're just, we're strict with them.
So it's, I expect them to have a certain level of just being a good person. So we are very strict, and they have rules, and they have chores, and they have to help out. They have to pull their weight.
I was like, it's a family ordeal. So, yeah, I think I'm more strict than most.
Hey, well, like I said, your kids seem great to me. So something's working. I'm glad they're great.
No, I know. Like I said, Chase, he's our poop scooper. I can count on him.
Like anytime he does the whole thing, and he's always courteous, and they're just fun.
He's such a good first kid.
Yeah, they're both good kids. They're both good kids. And I love the fact that, I know.
Well, and I love the fact, and I don't know if this is just our neighborhood or if people find this in other places, but the fact that we have so many different ages in our neighborhood, and they all just still play together. And it doesn't matter how young or how old, they're just friends, and that's awesome.
We have a wide range for sure. But it does work out for the most part.
Yeah.
My 13-year-old, he's definitely getting older.
Yeah.
Like, it's your daughter's birthday.
He's like, I'm going.
But he played it full out.
He had a great time.
He did fine. He did good. And I was very proud of him.
And I told him that.
I loved it.
My girls, they love him. They love all of your kids, so.
I would be upset if Chase didn't come.
I know, I know. Okay, so last question, then we're gonna do something fun. What do you do to refuel yourself?
And do you feel like it's enough?
There's never enough refueling.
I'm still trying to figure that out, because I've only been back at work for three months. So I'm still trying to figure out that happy medium. There's definitely not enough time spent on myself.
And I keep telling myself I'm gonna get up at 5 a.m. and get on the treadmill, and I haven't done it, because that's really early.
It is early.
But I veg out a lot on my phone after dinner, and everything's cleaned up, and the kids are situated doing their own thing, and we all just kinda go our separate ways sometimes. And I'll just Instagram, or Facebook, or read a book. But usually it's just mindless.
I don't even really watch much TV, because it takes too much effort to...
I'll follow the storyline. I'll just rather Instagram, okay.
And then I'm going to bed at nine o'clock.
Oh, that's funny. So, but what about when you were a stay-at-home mom? Because you also have, it's just a different demand on you.
I mean, we would go do more things when I was a stay-at-home mom. And we would get out more. And I was less tired.
But I would read more. I read more then.
Okay.
Watch more TV then.
Reading's your thing.
Yeah, reading TV.
What type of, what do you like? Fiction, non-fiction? Romance, thrillers.
Romance, yeah. Yeah.
And mystery books. Yeah.
Nice. I always want to be a CIA agent, like a secret spy. But I scare easily, so I realize that that's not really a viable possibility for me.
Well, Mitch likes to talk to people too, so that probably, I don't know that that would go.
You think I'd reveal the secrets? The sleuthing skills, is that right?
And I don't know, she would want to just be part of the party. I know, right.
Oh, was I supposed to be paying attention to that? Sorry.
I can't walk away.
I don't know. I don't know.
Okay, I want to do something fun. I'm calling it my speed round, because I'm just going to shoot out questions at you, and I just want the first answer that comes to your head, not a lot of thought, that comes out. So, favorite must-have in your life?
Sorry.
Should I not say that? Because it is.
Android or iPhone? iPhone.
iPhone, yeah, I know.
We get mad when a person moves into the neighborhood that's on an Android, because then we have to make a different list. Okay, what do you like better, shopping online or in person for clothes?
Oh, shopping online.
Online?
Amazon is, yeah. You see them all the time.
I know, I know. I know we all peek out the windows and say, Amazon is in my, yeah.
Did I forget that I ordered something? Nope, it's always coming to my house.
The thing that drives you nuts the most if it's not cleaned?
Everything.
Everything.
You know, well, I don't know, Mitch, you may be the floors.
I'm the couch, the couch and the floors.
Yeah, couch and the floors.
And the bathrooms.
If there's any hair on the floor, I don't like it.
Or in the shower.
Yep, oh yeah, the drink.
Clean out your drains.
Who is the bigger disciplinarian, you or Nick?
Me.
You?
Not that they listen to me, they're not scared of me. And they've told me that.
You lost the fear.
Yeah, I'm mom.
You know, it's different. So we've had that discussion many times. My husband is always tired of having to be the one that is the firm firm.
I'm like, but they're not scared of me.
All right, sweet or salty?
Sweet.
Sure. Yeah, me too. Best show everyone should watch?
Oh. Friends.
Friends?
There you go, oh hey.
All the time.
Go out or stay in?
Stay in.
I didn't answer you.
I don't buy any of them, that's why I live out here.
I know, right?
I don't need to go anywhere.
Okay, last question, which is worse? Folding laundry and ironing or mopping?
Oh, you know I hate mopping.
Mopping.
Mopping.
It hurts your back.
And if you do it good, it really hurts your back.
I know.
In a big house, well, in a bigger house, with a lot of hardwood floors.
A lot of hard, yeah, that's the hard surfaces.
It does.
I don't like mopping. I'd rather clean the toilet.
So you know if you're going to Segal's house, it feels safe going to the bathroom.
If you ever get sick, the toilet is clean.
I know.
Hey, sometimes that's questionable.
Yeah, I mean, if you're going to be sick, you want the toilet to be clean.
Yeah, that's true. It's not something I'm thinking about a lot, but.
See, that's a nurse thing. If I'm going to vomit in it, it needs to be clean.
First, and now I kind of want to go see every nurse's home.
True. I don't know.
I need something to eat.
Awesome.
This has been fun. See, I didn't poke at you too much, right?
No, no, no. Hopefully, I didn't ever share too much.
No, I think it was good.
I think there will be some people who can definitely relate and fill themselves in your story.
Oh, yeah. All of us moms are struggling right now. The economy stinks.
What would you say, then, I'm going to throw one last thing out there, best piece of advice you could give to someone, to another mom?
Let it go. Just like the Elsa song.
You like Elsa?
You got to let it go, because I mean, you will just... I'm real bad with keeping the list, and then if it doesn't get done, then my Type A and my OCD stresses myself out, and then I'm just mean to everybody. So I've learned that I have to let it go.
And if there's mud on the floor, it's going to be fine.
It'll be there tomorrow. Yep.
And so will you.
I'll be less... I'll be more happy if I just don't look at the muddy floor.
There you go.
And there you have it. Let it go. Go sing it out loud.
Be loud, be proud. Let it go. I'm surprised as I am, as I haven't heard that come screaming out there.
It's a good song. Sometimes you just need to play it in your head as a mom.
Just to let it go.
If they don't go to the dentist every six months, it'll be fine.
They will live. I approve.
Well, I think everyone has probably had their ears blown out from me laughing today, but I definitely think it was worth it, and I had fun. Thank you so much for being my first Come As You Are interview. You just set the tone, right?
I set the bar low for everybody else.
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